Danish Fawaz
15
RafflesInstiution SMILEE(:

Danish_fawaz@hotmail.com

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Disappointment and sorrow is the words tat i have now. Nothing else but this. This words. Im disappointed and sad. Do you know what it feels like? When the ppl u hope the most to be there when u need them, does not even bother to notice the change in you.


Im doing my malay essay now but i absolutely have no idea on what i can write. Something troubles my mind. But i don't know what. Nvm that. I aint gonna be emo cause it dusent make a difference anyway. Hm.. I need an idea. My MT teacher gave the topic, One incident that brought a learning point to me during the holidays. I have nothing to write about. She said can make up stories but whatt kind? I wonder.. I know liao!! Yeah. Maybe it will work. The learning point is to not rush to making decisions. Yeah. Can. =)

Math tropical assignment next week, gonna revise. And poetry test too. Hahas. =) Im gonna make a soccer video. Anyone wan to participate in the video? Tag me or msn. ^^ Kay guys, gtg.

Come bck liaos. Yaye! I bought new shirt. Nice nice ncie!! xD I look super shuai in it. Hahas. I look shuai in anything. Hehe. Kidding. Black! Yeah nice. Tired though. Hahas. So im gonna do my hw tonite. =)

Now listening to only one by yellowcard. Its a super nice song to me. =) LAzy to update liao larh. Sorry. Hehe.

Hey guys, todae no sch. Ltr gonna go out with my mum n dad. Reply tags here. =)


Joey: Yeah.. It cant settle everything... Dun worry... Apology? Yea..Sure.. No sweat.. =) Just dun let it be in our frenship. =) Bored or anything can come to me. xD

Fadhil: HUh? Wateva larh. =)

Myra: tagged liao. =)

Peijun: Yeah. I gonna use it for a performance soon. =) The MV a bit confusing. =)

Ltr i update again. Tonite. And joey, dun worry. I will be ok soon... I hope..

I'm sorry if this hurts...

Im just so disappointed in you. In fact, im very hurt. U neglected me. Im sorry if i cudnt meet u ytd my fren. But i cud todae. But u neglected me. Im so hurt. I had to put up an act and put up with ur actions. Im so hurt. I noe bf is important but theres always time for frens. U told me tat. I hope u can do wat u adviced me pls.

Its so hurting u noe. When ure having problems or bored, u come to me. But when ure happy, u never share ur joy with me. U share it with ur stead. I noe bf important. But frens are not only to throw ur sadness to. They also deserve to share ur joys. Im so hurt. I am. I had always been there for u when u were in distraught. When u were with 3am n Woman, i was there when u were bored or u were sad. I had to go thru all that. N wats worst was loving you. It was so hearrtaching. But now it's not tat painful, i dun love u as much. I really cant stand it anymore. I always act infront of u. But i cant anymore. This is wat i feel. This is wat im going thru. IM sorry if this post is hurting. But i have to let u noe. I noe u dun care, i noe i dun deserve ur attention. I noe u can find somebody hu had always been there for u and not expecting anything in return. I noe u can find someone better than me. Bt pls. Think bout it.

I noe when u meet someone new, u will neglect the old one. Lyk bag. U buy a new one and u throw away the old one. The bag holds ur books, ur personal stuff that may be precious to u. Same goes for a fren. The bag stands the pain of the amount of weight in it. Same goes for a fren. But a fren have feelings. U cant just neglect them lyk a bag.

I noe im emo. But im emo because of being neglected by my best buddy. My precious buddy. "Emo kid" Nice issit? It hurts u noe. Hurts. I mean this is not the first time im going thru this. I just cant act as if im ok anymore. I cant! Its been so long, so long. I noe im at fault. IM TOO EMO. I noe. I jus hope u can realise that u have hurt ur best buddy so deeply. So deeply that even a razor- sharp knife cant beat it. I hope u can at least appreciate ur buddy. I hope so.

Wateva it is, i will still be there for u. I always will. I will listen to ur probs and console u. Cause ure my one and only buddy...

Yeah! Tmr no sch but going back sch for class deco. hahas. AND I mastered one song on the guitar this week! Oh! Carol by neil sedaka. I working on what i've done by linkin park. Got the intro. Will try work it. Yeah! Hahas. Fri aso no sch, hahas. Yeah. Gonna mugg!! Hahas. And i wan go out on mond. =) NOW now, i go do hw first kay? BYe bye. And i stil love her even we are not in communication these days. =D

Taggs!! Replied! Here i mean. xD

Fadhil: 20 cent? Cheap nia. Hahas. xD

Peijun: Hahas. Thanks. I giving up on all my hopes tat i wanted. But not my studies.

Joey: Its u but nah. Dusent matter. Be happy with him. =D Lyk wat i told PJ, i give up all my hopes but not my studies. =D and tanks 4 the ear. =) I wun mind having ur ear. U my buddy marh. =D

Bixia: Heys, i dun wan be the carrot. It let the surrounding change it. I dun wan the surrounding change me. I have to change the surrounding. =D Yeah, everything will be fine. =D Thanks sister! Ill believe myself definitely. And my frens. =D

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Hey guys, today was the start of sch again. Went home early larh todae. Vomitted lyk 5 times in sch? Dunoe wat caused it. Hahas. Sch was ok todae. Everything was ok. Geog got new teacher. Damn boring teacher nia. Hahas. Basically sch is ok. Im gonna give up all other things and start concentrating on my studies. Thats wat i came to RI for. =D Im gonna do it. Im gonna excel. I wun disappoint wgps teachers. ^^ I wun! Wats my aim? TO EXCEL IN RI! Rafflesian spirit! YEAH!

Dear, I love you and i dun care wat others say. I dun even care if they noe. I LOVE YOU. I really really do. I keep thinking of u each moment. I even cried thinking of you. I really hope we can last long. Gurl, tell me, y do u have to keep it away from ppl. Even ur bestie. Nvm gurl. I wun be angry at u. I love you. I care bout you. I want to be with you. I want you to love me 2. I really really really really love you, the girl who grabbed my heart.

I cant believe holiday is over so fast. Tmr is back to school. =) I just want to lie on my bed and think of nothing today. Damn stressed up about school. Don't know why. I've lost that competitive and never say die attitude, sorry ms hayati and Mdm Tuty. Ive lost tat spirit. Dune whye. =( Sorry. I just cant cope with all these. But i have to face reality somehow. =D And i hope someone will be there beside me to guide me thru all these, or just be there when i need a listening ear. Who wud be there? Ppl are busy larh. Busy with their life. So i dun anyone will be willing to do that. =/ Hahas.


Ive given up all hope guys..


Danny

Emo sia me... LOVE is a good thing but aso a bad thing... :/

Now i realise smth. What melanie said was true. Everyone is selfish. Maybe not everyone. Maybe most or sm. No offence. =) Maybe i am wrong. Maybe im also selfish myself. But i really dunoe wat is happening to me. i dunoe hu i am anymore. I dunoe. Im confused u noe. wateva nonsense im writing, dun bother reading it. xD

I really love you, my dear. I dunoe if u feel the same way towards me. Can u just pls show me tat u really do love me, dear? Y does everybody still think ure with him? Y cant they noe u broke up with him? Y cant they noe we're together? Are u ashamed or smth? I dun understand u noe. And i feel hurt. I feel hurt. Maybe im oversensitive. But all this nonsense ure still with him is making my heart ache, so pls, tell me the truth dear.

Cassandra, u rock sis! Talked to cassandra and i felt much better. Thanks sis. She gave me some advice. Guys, read below. =D Hope u guys like it. =)
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Put 3 pots of water over the fire.
In the first pot, put some carrots.
In the second pot, put some eggs.
In the third pot, put some coffee beans
that have been grounded into coffee powder.
Boil all three pots for 15 minutes.
Take out what you have put in.
The carrots went in hard.
They are now soft.
The eggs went in soft inside.
Now they are hard inside.

The coffee powder has disappeared!!

But the water has the colour and the wonderful aroma of coffee.

Now think about Life.

Life is a great mystery.
Life is not always easy.
And definitely not always comfortable.
Sometimes, life is very hard to us.

Things don’t always happen like we wish.
People don’t treat us like we hope they would.

We work very hard but often get few results.
What happens then when we face difficulties?

Now think about the pots.

The boiling water is like the multifaceted problems of life.

We can be like the carrots.

We go in
tough and strong.

We come out soft and weak.

We get very tired.
We lose hope.
We give up.
We quit.

There is no more fighting spirit in us.
We give up the fight.

Don’t be like the carrots!!! Fight on!!!

We can be like the eggs.

We start off armed with a soft and sensitive heart.

We end up being very hard and unfeeling inside.

We hate others.
We don’t like ourselves.

We become hard-hearted and suspicious.

There is no warm feeling, only bitterness.

Don’t be like the eggs!!!

We can be like the coffee beans.

The water does not change the coffee powder.
The coffee powder changes the water!

The coffee powder affects its environment & does not yield to adverse circumstances!!!

We can be like the coffee beans.

We can make something good out of the quagmire of the multifarious difficulties we face.

We can learn new things.

We can have new knowledge, new skills, new abilities.

We can build!

We can grow in experience.

We can make the world around us better!

To succeed, we must try… and try again.
Sounds right?
Of course not! We must do…and do again!
Like Yoda says in ‘Star Wars’:
“Try? There is no try. There is
only do or not do.”
(of course, grammar is not Yoda’s forte!)

So,……
to succeed, we must do… and do again.
We must believe in what we are doing.
We must not give up.
We must be patient.
We must keep on…
pushing.

Opportunity must be seized.
You make things happen, not wait for things to happen to you.
When there is an obstacle, you will reap the greatest benefit when you have taken pains to overcome it.


Problems and difficulties give us the chance to become stronger… and better… and tougher.

What are we like when things
do not go well?
Are we like the carrot…

or the egg…

or the coffee bean?

Be like a diamond,
which embodies and symbolises excellence!
For what is a diamond,
but a piece of coal
that did extremely well
under great pressures?

Above all,
be like the coffee bean!

Kays, jus now went to meet Joey at her sch there. Then went to see anthony and joey's darling and her RS frens play badminton. Played a bit. Tot cud release stress but cudnt. Hahas. :/ Then anthony, me, Joey and Junzhi ( Joey's darling ) went to eat at long john silver. Saw joey's tuition fren and that minute i became their pigeon. Hahas. Messenger pigeon. LOL. Joey's fren, Kevin i tink rocks man, he plays guitar, and he has the same character as me. Cheeky. Hehe. JunZhi is aso not a bad guy. He is quiet but frenly. He ganged up with us when we wanted to noe smth from joey. COOL! Then was funny todae. I dunoe y but suddenly i became lyk a clown larh. Became so lame yet hilarious.

Thought bout tat matter, told joey bout it, but didnt get a solution. :/ Haish. Dunoe larh. Sms-ed cassandra and she told me break up. I dun wan to. Haish. I dunoe wat to do larh. IM so freaking fucked up. So frustrated. Joey saw my frustration but just kept quiet. =) It was funny todae. HAd fun making jokes and acting funny. Hope to go out with the 3 of them again larh. Fun fun fun! ^^

Danny

Morning guys. Went jogging just now. Was so darn stressed up. Jogged non stop for lyk 42 minutes?

Woked up at 6.15am. Did my prayers and slept again. Woke up again at 7.20am. Left home at arnd 7.30am , started timing and jogged all the way to christ church sec then made a left turn and went into vista park, jogged 2 rounds, then jogged over to the road leading to wdlands pri then jogged at tekong park. tested my 2.4km. Guess my timing? 10.36. Tats lyk so shocking. So fast sia. I was damn stressed up larh. Maybe stressed up makes u do things faster. Its lyk much faster than my 2.4km sch run. Wth. Damn larh. Nvm. Then jogged all the way to 888 and down the road to causewaypoint. Then bought a bottle of water at the shop near the PAP at 894. Hahas. Stop jogging and then walked to the fitness corner at 514. Did a few pushups and crunches.

Then saw one boy playing bball. He tried shooting one hand. He still young larh. p3? Then i tell him try shoot with two hands. n tats when he scored. yeah! Hahas. reached home at 8.45? Hahas.

I guess jogging really makes u cool down. Inst tat great? xD Hahas. Kays, wan go eat breakfast liao la. So damn tired. Kneecaps pain. =) C ya guys..

Im suddenly confused. Ok. Forget it. Dun wan talk bout it...

Danny

Oh ya, got this from joey's blog. =) LOLS. =.=

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Name 12 random ppl?

1. Fadhil
2. YuXuan
3. Joey
4. Nicole
5.Myra
6. Peijun
7.Melanie
8. Daryl
9. Eugene
10. Izhar
11. Cassandra
12. Arthur


Qns 1: What if no. 1 tells ppl who u have a crush on?
ans: I dun tink he wun. =) Ryte Fad?

Qns 2: What wud u do if no 2 loves u?
ans: Er... Love her back? =)

Qns 3: What if number 3 kiss u on the cheek?
ans: Dunoe lehs. She my best fren larh. The kiss wud be a way of saying thank you?

Qns 4:What wud u do if number 4 wana dance with u?
Ans: Hmm.. Ok lor. She my little sister. =) But i dun tink she can dance. Hehe.

Qns 5: What wud u do if number 5 destroys ur day?
ans: I dun tink she ever will. =) So dusent matter anyway. =)

Qns 6: What wud u do if number six asks u out for a date?
ans: No way man. ZH is her dream guy, not me. xD

Qns 7: What if number seven falls in love with u?
ans: O_o Im faithful. =) Nways, shes not matured for this things yet, ryte mel?

Qns 8: What if number 8 steals ur stead?
ans: Wah, i go take bball, smack his head. JK JK. =) He wun. Hes a great guy. =)

Qns 9: What if number 9 wats u to be his stead?
ans: Hmm.. Will think bout it. Cause shes a woman, according to some ppl. :P

Qns 10: What wud u do if no 10 kills ur parents?
ans: Woah, he wun. He completed the quran twice and he noe the consequences of murder. =)

Qns 11: What if number 11 is ur secret admirer?
ans: Nah, shes too cool to lyk me! And she given up steading till 19 larh. =)

Qns 12: What wud u do if no 12 backstab u?
ans: HE wun!! =) I trust him.

Choose five ppl to take this test, ppl selected:

1. Fadhil
2. YuXuan
3. Cassandra
4. Nicole
5. Peijun

Danny

Hey guys! Im back! LOL. Bck earlier than i tot. =) Damn sleepy. Kays, reply tags first. =)

Peijun: Hello! LOL. Reminds u of smbody?? Or smth? Hahas. =)
Sarah: Hahas. Yeah. Will try. Thanks sister! =)
Fadhil: LOL. =) And thanks dudde. U enjoy it too! =)
Cass: Sister! LOL. U rock too! U stay cool hor. =) I tagged liao. Btw, wat bout u? Wats up sis?
Xiiaolazypig: Buddy! Confidante! Hahas. Tanks! W8. U talking bout me or cass? Hahas. Nvm/ Hu cares. Thanks! And u rock 2! ^^
Nicole: ROARRR! Hahas. Mei, tanks 4 tagging. ^^
Ella: Ella? Who are you? O_o Nvm. Thanks 4 tagging and i hope i cud noe hu u r. =)
Mel: Hahas. Thanks sister! U take kare too hor. =)

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Kays. Quite sleepy now. The trip was quite ok i guess. More of lyk jus a relaxing trip than a holiday. hahas. Dad had smth to settle there so whole family follow. =) Tired larh. Came back and switched on comp. hehe.

Kays, mond left at 1pm? Reached there at arnd 3? Checked in then slept for a while. Hahas. BAsically did nth on this day. Only went to eat then explore sorroundings. =)

Tues,
Woke up late. =) hahas Breakfast then went shopping? Not much things i bought. Just a few t- shirts. =) Then stayed at hotel for a few hours. Watched TV and went swimming! Cause dad went to sttle his things there. So we went for a swim. Evening went to this restaurant then eat lyk damn nice food. Got this dish, dunoe wat called. Chicken, damn nice!!! *yumm* Hahas. Then at nite, i cudnt sleep so i went to explore the hotel myself with my torchlight which i brought. Hehe. Then... Well, lets just say i got "disturbed" can? If u understand wat i mean. =/ Rushed up back. Scareed stiff. Lied on bed. It was lyk 2am larh. Cannot sleep. Missed her.Though of smsing her but ltr she have to pay more. Hahas. Oh shit, havent sms her, i back! : / Nvm, sms after this. Oh ya, tue went online with my dad laptop. Chatted with Joey and fadhil Hahas. Miss them. Hahas. Tat wraps up my day there. =)

Wed / Todae

Thought tmr go back. But dad said his business there settled so he said go home todae. Yaye! Was so darn happy. Flight was at 4.30pm. So still got time to mingle arnd. Hahas. So went to search for souvenirs. Hahas. Bought a t-shirt. 3 of them. Quite nice. =) Bro bought sm toys, dunoe wat larh. =.= Mum bought bag and dunoe wat else. Hu cares. Dad bought nth? Hahas. Then cudnt wait to get home larh. Hahas. Then 1pm checked out? Went to eat nearby. =) Eat again. xD Then bla bla bla, b4 i new it, was at the airport. =) Got on the plane and listened to i-Pod. 2 + - hours only marh. So didnt sleep. Not lyk trip to australia, 6 hours. xD Then reached SINGAPORE! YOHHOO! Wanted to sms her but planned not to. dunoe why. Didnt feel lyk it. Sorry dear! :/ Then reached home bout 8? Hahas. Damn tired. BUT, switched on comp. Hahas. My parents want us go eat dinner, i think. But maybe i dun wan. Tired liao larh . xD Hahas. Kays, tmr got smth on? xD But JOEY, I dun promise u i wud go. BUT thanks 4 helping me. Ill try not to disappoint u and her? =)

Okays, sch opening so close liao!!! T_T Hahas. Kays, this is all folks. Till next time. Did u miss me? Hahas. =) I wan go sleep liao larh. Bye guys. *misses*


Danny

Okays, one more week and sch reopens which is just not my favour of life. Haish. I just don't like the reopening of school this year. It's no use larh. Cannot even get to see her. WTH la. Nvm. This is what i hate. This is the disadvantage of going into a boys school. Hahas. Now, left with nth in life. Holidays are no longer the same, not the same as last year's DEC hols. Where i had damn lots of fun. Hahas. Wishfulthinking that WOODGROVERS will all reunite cause it will also be of no use larh. Just one reunion. No use. How i wish i wasnt clever so that i could have gone into the school most of my frens got into. Haix. Where she is now. Hahas.


I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?


When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day


And make it OK
I miss you


I haven't felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left are lyin' on the floor
And they smell just like you I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?


When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it OK
I miss you


Out here forever
I know we were


All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me
Yeah


When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it OK
WOODGROVERS, I miss you ..

Hey guys, changed skin again. Hahas. Nice? Hahas. Took some time searching. Yeah. =)

Okays, i'll listen to what Joey, Fadhil and Cassandra said. =) Dun bother to be pissed or wat. Cass, tanks sis! U consoled me! U rock sis. Fadhil, u are one hack of a fren, helped me in justifying my anger. Thanks bro. And Joey! Thanks buddy for the advice! =) guys, ill listen to these three and the rest of u. And Daryl 2! Thanks everyone. Cause wat joey and cass said was true, he jus seeking my attention. Yeah. BUT... He dun deserve it. Sorry. Hehe. =)

OK, IM FREAKING PISSED! DID HE HAVE TO WRITE? I HAVE MY RIGHT TO PLAY BBALL. HU ARE U TO CONTROL WHETHER I CAN PLAY OR NOT? OK FINE. FROM NOW ON, I WUN BE PLAYING ANYMORE! U HAPPY? TATS WAT U WANT RITE? MAKING ME FEEL PISSED. I SO LONG NEER RITE BOUT U, NOW U JUST HAVE TO WRITE BOUT ME. WTH LA. SO WHAT IF U DIDNT PLAY UR BEST? OH, I NOE. I WAS THE REASON. SORRY LOR. IF U FELT TAT WAY. I SO LONG NEVER BLOG OR BADMOUTH U, NOW U HAVE TO WRITE BOUT ME. TELL ME FACE TO FACE LA. WATS UR PROBLEM? TELL ME NOW. YA, U DUN GET EVERYTHING U WAN IN LIFE? U WANT ME DEAD ISSIT? I CANNOT COME AND PLAY MEH? JUST TO TELL U, IM HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU! SO STOP BLOGGING OR EVEN MENTIONING MY NAME IN UR LIFE EVER AGAIN. AND I PROMISE U THIS. I WUN PLAY BBALL IF URE THERE. SO U WUN BADMOUTH ME AGAIN. WATS WRONG WITH MY FACE? I NOE YOU ARE HANDSOME AND IM UGLY. I NOE IM FAT. FAT. U GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY FACE? DON'T FEEL LYK PLAYING THEN DUN PLAY LOR. ITS SO OBVIOUS TAT U STILL CANT GET OVER THE FITE. I HAVE. AND I TOT TATS WAT U WANT. SO PLEASE. STOP DWELLING OVER THE PAST. IM BETTER OFF THE WAY U WANTED ME TO BE. WITHOUT YOU! SO JUST STOP BADMOUTHING ME. AND I PROMISE U TAT I WUN BE PLAYING BBALL SO LONG AS URE THERE. SO MR, FUCK OFF!

Post todae. Now 1.22 am. At my cuzz hse,tired but have lots of things need to do. Hehes. Bored but got her to sms me each day. I love her man. Hahas. IM in love. Everything here is damn nice. Now im alone. My parents went hm, i with my grandma here. Luckily i have the comp to use. Hehe. Now.. I shall update soon. Cause kinda busy larh. Helping here. Hehe. And i really miss her sia. I wan see her everyday of my life. Unfair la. Haiyo. Dear dear, if u sick sms me hor. I worried. Must. and i miss u saying smoochies!! x33 Hmm... guys, mon on? Hahas. Im writing crap. Its 1.29 am in the morning, wat do u expect?! Hahas. Kays, i shall end my post here. Keep my tagboard alive guys. Thanks. =) AND LOVE YOU, my dear!~

When I'm about to be happy, the thing is cancelled. Haix. Damn unlucky. When else? Sch reopens will be damn busy dherr. Haish. Nvm. Rmb, i still love you hor. =)

Tmr will be a busy day for me. Morning got organising stuff till 1.30pm then at 3pm got street soccer match at Bukit Panjang there. Then have to go auntie's hse at boon lay. Damn sian. So tiring for sure. Hehe. At least i get to play soccer. Morning and street soccer, match somemore. With my cuzz. Hahas. Yeah, i hope tmr can cheer me up. I dunoe larhs, im luvvsick i tink. HEHE. Yeah.

Kays, gtg liao. Wanna pack for tmr. C ya guys. And dear, i love you!

I know i'm fat but did you have to tell me straight? I know i'm ugly, i noe im damn fat and not handsome at all. But did u have to hurt me? Maybe you didnt realise but i was really hurt. But, thanks anyway for telling me how unfortunate i am.

I'm fucked up can?

I'm sad cans? I don't know why. And I'm pissed can? I'm pathetic cans? I'm foolish cans? I'm dumb cans? I'm fucked up can? Don't feel like posting more... Damn...

Arhm starting to hate the holidays. first week got fever then now diarrhea. What did i do to deserve such mishap? Damn. Nvm. Todae went to the toliet 6 times since 5am then 9am stopped. Phew. Hope to get well soon. Now now... Yeah, im happy a bit. =)

I really don't know what i'm feeling... Argh... I'm so stressed up... I don't know why... I wish i wasnt feeling this way... I wish i was a normal guy without any problems. I wish i was still in my pri sch life. I wish everything would rewind. I wish all my problems would jus go away.. I wish that i'm not feeling this way. I'm crying... I'm crying, always crying but i don't have a fucking idea of why. Whye? Why is this happening to me? I hate this. I wish i could just end my life.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way.. Argh... Can somebody really help me? Because i really cant stand this anymore.. Im angry at myself for feeling this way. Nothing can stop my tears now...

Zheng yee, I don't hate you!